Every songwriter needs a muse and New song - "Boiling Point"

“Without hope, all you are is an artist without a muse”. These lyrics from my song “Ransom” have been on my mind lately. Every songwriter should have a muse. Mine is a girl I dated off and on years ago then some time later I realized I was in love with her, told her, she did not reciprocate, so I have spent the last 2 years trying to “get over” her with no avail. This year I’ve finally embraced that maybe I’m not supposed to. She is the Giving Tree of songwriting fodder. Recently, this was proved beyond doubt.

Back at the end of January, I was feeling the ol’ inspiration itch that’s generally followed by the writing of a song. I had a quality hook and chords that just needed lyrics. No subject was really coming to mind so I texted my muse for suggestions. She responded “How about feeling stuck in life and having this feeling that you’re boiling underneath the surface but don’t know why or how to fix it.” It was like she opened a door in my mind. It caught me off guard too because that’s exactly how I had been feeling.

I turned 30 last October and I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that I missed a turn in life and I’ve been driving the wrong road for years now. I’ve racked my brain to find the possible intersections that would have had significant influence on my life’s direction but I can’t see it. It’s like I’m in a maze with a seemingly obvious path but I’ve hit a dead end. I’ve traced my path back but can’t find any worthwhile avenues not ventured unless I wanted to arrive at a different finish line. I’ve even questioned whether the maze itself was designed for failure. I’ve lived my life with strong passion and specific goals but here I am, 30, alone, severely overweight, with very few prospects for improvement.

“Boiling Point” is not one of my cutsie songs about love and hope but an honest assessment my current state. It may not be as impressive as my other songs and may never make an album or played out much but if you can relate to it, I hope you realize you are not alone in feeling this way. I know I have. The first verse references those letters we write as kids or teenagers to our future selves that make us deeply evaluate our life choices, inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother. The last verse is talking about how most friends’ reaction to this level of self assessment and regret is “But all those bad choices and hard experiences have molded you to be who you are so you can’t fault that”. What if you don’t like who you are? What if your lot in life is crap? Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic but I believe I was intended for greatness. I was born to fly. My lack of success is not only hard to bear but it’s shameful. As depressing as this all sounds though, I am coming to grips with making the best of what I’ve been given and that’s really all you can do. 

This song has a really cool hook, very bluegrassy, and the vocal melody sounded like something The White Buffalo would sing.

BOILING POINT

I just found a note

I wrote 10 years ago

Addressed to the man I’d become

So excited by

The prospects of life

Thought he knew I’d be somebody by now

All the things I thought I would be

By the time I hit 30

Thought I’d have happy in the bag by now

                Chorus

I feel like I’m boiling underneath

Stuck in this life I never thought I’d lead

I’m broken and I’m bleeding out

I want to fix it all but I don’t know how

If I could do it all again

I’d reverse the choices I’ve made

I know I wouldn’t be “me” but that’s ok

Maybe I’d be something more

Get my feet off the floor

Maybe I could grow the wings I always knew I had

Chorus

                Bridge

I don’t know how

Chorus