New song: "Stay"

I’ve been really depressed lately. That’s not something I would usually announce online but it warrants my wonderful experience yesterday. For at least the past 2-3 weeks I’ve been depressed. I haven’t been this depressed in years. It was more than the "left by someone I love", "stressed at work", "music career gaining no traction", kind of depression but the real deal. Yesterday, I wrote a song and the depression went away. Completely. It was weird. As soon as I was done concentrating on writing I noticed the weight on my heart had lifted and I felt great. I'm not saying songwriting solves all problems, I've just yet to find one it can't solve. :)

I wasn’t even depressed about the subject matter I wrote about. I was just learning a couple Bon Iver songs and found a hook I enjoyed. The lyrics just started coming out. I couldn’t let it pass me up so I grabbed the nearest pen and paper and let it flow. You got to strike while the iron's hot.

"The Muse will always be the lead. You can never summon it. You can never make an appointment with it. It either comes or it doesn't and when comes, you consider yourself damn lucky."
-Glen Hansard

The subject matter was something I’ve been wanting to write for some time now. Earlier this year I fell in love in a dream. I figure if Paul McCartney can write “Yesterday” in a dream, I can surely fall in love. It may have helped that I dated the girl off and on in past. The dream was amazing. We spent a couple days together and it paralleled reality at several points. At the end of the dream we decided to start our life together and I had never been so happy, in a dream or reality. Naturally, I then woke up and couldn’t move. I have never wanted to swap reality with fantasy more in my life. I figured if I just laid there hoping and praying that waking up late for work was the dream and I could eventually go back to her. Needless to say, it wasn’t. But I was still in love with her. It didn’t work out but still to this day I remember every detail of the dream so I wrote this song. It presents the relationship between dreams and reality with a longing for the former but also tells the story of what happened in the dream. I very pleased with it. Hopefully you can hear it soon but in the meantime, here are the lyrics:

STAY

Once again you fall asleep

Sprawled half way off my bed

I pick you up to tuck you in

Startled awake from a bad dream

Fight or flight in your eyes

Until you see that it is me

You wrap your arms so tight around my neck

Pulled me close into my bed

Settled in for the night

I guess I won’t sleep on the couch

Wake me up with a kiss

Spent all morning in my bed

I fell in love with you again

In this moment, I’ve never felt so alive

                Chorus

People say that dreams are dreams

Doesn’t matter what they mean

I just can’t live that way

Waking up is like a death

Leaving where I’d rather live

Why can’t I just stay? …at least a while?

That night, dinner with the fam

So nice and interesting

Like you want to be a part

Now we’re sitting eye to eye

No more games, no more lies

It’s time for our life to begin

Now I know what all my pain offsets

Chorus

Bridge

Chorus

People say I can’t see

All the joy in front of me

I just can’t live that way

Waking up brings the pain

No strength left for the day

Why can’t I just stay? …at least a while?

Reasons to keep going...

Quickly becoming one of my favorite Christmas traditions is the Christmas Eve Eve house concert at Ryan Tanner’s house. A small crowd packed his beautiful living room and witnessed a wonderful night of soul touching music performed by 4 of the great minds behind The Lower Lights. For those of you who don’t know Ryan Tanner, Paul Jacobsen, Sarah Sample, and Dominic Moore, imagine sitting in a living room practically eye to eye and knee to knee with Glen Hansard, Ryan Adams, Patty Griffin, and Bruce Springsteen (“Nebraska” style) while they sing with each other pouring out their lives and inspiration like they would to a best friend.  It is truly a magnificent sight to behold.

                Ryan opened the rounds with his delicate guitar style and immediately drew every single person in before the verse even started with a simple yet gripping hum. I was introduced to Ryan’s music via his old band Atherton’s Skyline Motel release show up at The Fort Douglas Theatre years ago and have, in turn, given this delight to many people. Each one of us has had the same experience: pure awe in the excellence of his voice. It stops your speech. It clears your mind. It makes the troubles of your day to day seem manageable. The best part about Ryan is how much he would dislike this part of the blog if he knew I was writing it. He’s got to be hands down one of the most humble people I have ever met and it completely warrants his songs and performance. Humility shines through his music and makes it timeless. Listening to his songs, you may assume they were written decades ago, cemented into history, carved by time and love but they still have a place in the hearts of today. For example, he heard the story of how this couple lost their child and became a conduit of inspiration and love using his voice and guitar to bring them comfort in an unparalleled time of grief. (more)

                Ryan went on to introduce the others and was followed by Sarah. I don’t know if it’s relating to her interpretation of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, admiring her passion, or letting the love behind her songs like “Calling Your Name” or "Everytime I Go" change your heart at least a little that made listening to her so memorable. She has a very unique voice that is elevated by her songwriting and the support of Paul and Ryan singing and playing alongside her. I have seen her live many times and whether it’s with her full 9 piece band or solo she exudes such a passion that no matter where you are in life, high or low, she can lift you up. I wouldn’t say all of her songs are happy, “feel good” songs but they are real and hopeful, that’s what makes them great.

                Each of these artists are quite funny with their quips and backstories, Dominic especially. He has a very dry, expertly timed sense of humor that I can relate to. He’ll tell interesting, real stories and his reaction to them, mixed with his under the breath comments, make everyone wiggle in their seats with a chuckle and a smile. Multiple times his humility came through as he explained his inequality to the other performers but I say he belongs 100%. I don’t know him as well as the others since he lives in Arizona but he’s so personable in his performance that I feel like I’ve known him a long time.

                Paul is the spark that opened my world up to many things including this glorious annual event. I have seen Paul perform many times and if I can help it, I will never miss one for as long as he performs. Years ago, before he knew who I was, I wrote him a series of emails asking advice on many subjects relating to the allusive “music career” that many of us seek and he responded. I know he has a busy life with his family, work, and music endeavors but he still took the time to answers my questions and give encouragement in the right way. That meant everything to this young budding musician. Paul has it. Ask anyone. Most musicians search their whole life and never find it but he has it. I can’t really explain well what it is but listen to Paul, especially live and you’ll feel it. This night was a great example of what I’m talking about from his stories to his songs to the moment that his daughter snuck over to the stage area. He didn’t shun her away nor chastise his wife for not preventing it. No, he smiled to his wife, picked his daughter up and let her listen to the others perform from one of the most sacred places a child could ask for, leaning against her father’s chest. Watching that was only surpassed by his performance, especially some long awaited new songs. The imagery and hope that he portrays is wonderful. He sang a song about his brother’s bat with cancer that left most of us with a tear in our eyes. He described his brother’s weakened “tree trunk” hands, kissing him on the forehead, and ends each chorus with “We’re all waiting for some amazing grace”. It's the kind of imagery that opens your mind and transports you to a different place.

                I have never told any of them this but they have set a standard for me as a songwriter, musician, and in many ways, a human being. With every song I write, I go through a subconscious check list. Does it say what I want to say? Does it express the emotion the words need to have meaning? Is it enjoyable and relatable? And one of the most interesting checks is what I call the “House party test”. I take the new song, close my eyes, and imagine performing it at one of Paul and Ryan’s house parties. If it feels out of place because it’s too disruptive, loud, or weak then I spend some time reworking it. It’s not that I need their validation or feel like I belong elbow to elbow with these greats but this venue harbors such a creative positive spirit that I would be a fool not to utilize it in my writing.

I am so happy to witness these events and encourage all to attend every show these performers put on. I promise you will not be disappointed. See you there.

My new song "Graffiti"

I'm very excited to have a good live recording of one my newest songs "Graffiti" to post. This song is special to me. Most musicians would admit that they have a special connection to each of their songs and may even compare that connection the bond between parent and child. Though most parents wouldn't admit it, sometimes there's a deeper connection to one child more than another and thus is my announcement of "Graffiti".

Recently, a girl I once dated had come back into my life. In anticipation of her renewed presence, I spent some time imagining a life with her and the love I once felt rushed back into my heart. I was thrilled to have an opportunity of wooing her. No matter how long it took, I was going to make her fall in love with me again. Then... this adventure was derailed thoroughly with the discovery of her long term relationship. I hadn't had much contact with her for a couple years, so it wasn't surprising to have missed that important detail. There hasn't been much sadness in my life harder to deal with more than watching my projected future crumble and slip through my hands. My only option was to use the most powerful tool in belt for dealing with life: songwriting. Though I miss her still and the future I pictured only a distant dream now, I'm glad she and it will forever live on in my new song.

Please give it a listen here and tell me what you think. Thanks everyone.

New website!!!

Entering the necessary world of online presence, the fall of 2010 found me teaching myself the ever so NOT user friendly Adobe Dreamweaver. 4 months of pure frustration produced a super simple, albeit boring, website that had the info and media I wanted but was nothing to write home about. Well, I discovered this wonderful thing called "Word Press" and in less than 2 weeks I've completely revamped, revitalized, and regenerated my site. With the help of my good friend and website genius, Steve Anderson, I am happy to officially announce this website facelift. Check it out and let me know what you what you think.Thanks.

www.brianbinghammusic.com

I'm now a blogger!

I'm officially a blogger now. :) I am very excited to start sharing some of my interesting thoughts and whatnot. I hope you enjoy.